


Underself

by l1ght



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: After the Genocide Route, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Attempted Suicide, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, Ugh I'm not putting many tags cause spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25887571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l1ght/pseuds/l1ght
Summary: Tris wishes to end her life, thus falling into the Underground. She forgets almost everything, and tries to figure out what the fuck is going on in the empty Underground with dust scattered everywhere.
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

I stood at the edge of the hole. This was the only way. If I did this, no one else would get hurt. I had sneaked out of my house, in the middle of the night. That way, no one would see me. They didn't need to see me. It needed to be this way. I didn't need to hurt more people. And if I stayed, I would do just that. Sure, they might not say that, but what do they know about me? Nothing. No one knew anything about me. And that was good. They didn't need to know anything about me. It would be better this way. That way they wouldn't miss me. They would miss 'me'. The fake persona I put up. If they knew me, the real me, they would hate me. Just another person on the list. At least they didn't know the crimes I've committed. The atrocities I've been part of. I-it would be better this way. For them, and for me. Right?

In that split moment, I paused. Why was I doubting my decision? I knew it would be better this way. I was protecting everyone. No one would find me this way. No one needed to. I think they'll figure it out. I didn't need to tell them. They would just tell me not to. They wouldn't even ask even ask why. And if they had, I wouldn't have told them. I didn't need to. They wouldn't even try to stop me after I did. I-it's better this way. At least I could save the image they had of 'me'. I don't need to ruin that. Why would I ruin something like that? It's not like it would be any better if I ruined that precious image of 'me'. They needed something to hold onto. Even if it was a lie.

A lie. The words echoed in my head. Those two words defined almost my whole life. That's what my life was. A lie. A perfectly planned, carefully-laid-out lie constructed by me. A lie they were convinced was true. A lie I needed them to think was true. There was no other way. The lie was my life, and my life was the lie. At least they knew 'me'. At least they thought I was a good person. At least they didn't know me. At least they didn't hate me. Th-this needed to happen. It just had to.

A sob wracked through me. Before I knew it, tears were flowing freely on my face. Why was I crying? This had to happen. I knew that it did, so why was I crying? Another sob. WHY? JUST WHY? WHY DID I DO THIS? WHY HAD I DONE THEY THINGS I'VE DONE? WHY? WHY DID IT ALL COME TO… this?

I quieted down, my crying silent now. Steeling myself, I prepared myself to do what I knew I had to. The last tear slid down my cheek. I knew that my face was now a pure picture of Determination. I knew I had to do this. I knew there was no other way. I knew that I had to quit stalling. I knew I had to stop my thoughts from circling around and around. I knew I had to stop this now. And with that, I took the step.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know how to use the notes. Imma just use the summary. Basically amnesia and mental breakdowns.

I looked around. Where was I? As I sat up, I rubbed my head. It hurt a lot for some reason. I looked up. I seemed to be at the bottom of a hole, but when I tried to remember how I got here, my mind drew a blank. I attempted to figure out how I had ended up here. Maybe someone pushed me, or I tripped, or maybe… maybe I had…

I quickly shook my head, no need to go there. I shakily stood up and tried to remember something. Nothing, nothing… Then something popped into my head. My name was… Tris? I was… 15 years old and… nothing else. Something about weird symbols, but that was it, the place where memories were kept was cold and empty. Nothing was left.

I decided to forget (Heh good one, Tris) about my faulty memory for now, and explore. I took a few wobbly steps before my legs decided to work, walking away from the room-like cave with golden flowers, and into the next.

There was a patch of grass in the middle of the chamber. I walked past it, trying to not think about how it was possible for grass to grow here. I glanced back, noticing how the middle of the grass patch was a little roughened up as if something had been there…

I continued forward, passing through hallways, and solving puzzles. As I walked, my mind drifted off, and I started to question my situation. What is this place? How did I end up here? D-Did I- did I jump? And if I did, why?

My mind was still swirling with questions when I reached a considerably complex puzzle. It was a field of spikes. Although I was distracted, I was on high alert and noticed everything around. It came naturally to me, being paranoid. As I figured out the puzzle, I wondered why I kept looking around as if I was expecting something to happen. My situation was unfortunate. I didn't know myself anymore. I only knew a few scattered things, but nothing of who I am. My morals, what I did for fun, my friends… my family.

I hardly even noticed when I reached a house. I didn't even bother looking around, I just went down the stairs. I walked out the door, shivered at the sudden change in temperature, but kept going without hesitation. I scarcely even noticed my surroundings now. Before I knew it, I was hyperventilating. I knew nothing about myself, my situation, my life before this, just… nothing.

Although I was quite obviously panicking, I didn't stop walking. I stumbled a bit, then started running. I didn't know why I was running, or from what I was running, I just had no control over my body anymore. I raced through a town, not faltering. Why am I here? Did I jump? Why would I jump?

Who am I?

_Who am I?_

**_Who am I?_ **

**_WHO AM I?_ **

…Who am I…


End file.
